1 John 1:5-9 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Do you know the feeling of waking up the next morning after you really screwed up? It’s a horrible feeling, but aside from the feeling…I tend to be so confused.You see, I really love God, and mourn over my sin…but what’s confusing is, I will be baffled how I can love God and want to live in loving response to His love…and yet there are these moments…where it seems like I just turn off a switch…and become dumb, deaf, and blind to the great reality of Divine Love running through my veins and my life.
I’m not speaking about head knowledge, but heart knowledge. Why, does it seem, I become unaware to what matters most? Why do I seem to become clueless to the greatest love of my life – God himself?And that next morning, or even moment…my heart breaks. I’m baffled and confused why…And honestly, if I am being truly honest, until recently the light/dark metaphor’s found in scripture…haven’t really dug deep into my heart and given me a sense of clarity…until recently…You see when I’m in the dark, I know full well about the light. I know no matter how dark it is at night – morning is coming. I know what the Sun is, and will feel like. I know all about it.
And yet…when I am in the darkest of dark settings…like a deep cavern or cave…and I walk outside…my eyes have to adjust. You see, just because “I know”…doesn’t mean “I am”…This is the biggest problem with the American Christian, and I include myself in this category. Our biggest problem is we have all the head answers…but very few heart answers. And because we have all the head answers…we blind ourselves into thinking we have the heart answers…but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The reason it feels like “a switch has gone off” to my truest reality – which is the presence of God…it’s not because the presence of God has evaporated or simply disappeared, but what has is my AWARENESS of Him.
In the light of his love, when I walk in love and light and the purity of His compassion for all things …and living in the flow of this reality…the switch is very much turned on…but when I walk down the path and to the well of the culture and fill my soul with the water of the ways of the world….and I do things that are unloving and unkind to put it politely I become unconscious to what really matters most…in short…when I live in the dark, I also close the eyes of my heart…and what’s happens then is…I just don’t care.
I don’t care about the things of God, the ways of God, or the love of God.But, how can that be so? I could have any theological conversation on any subject and “know” and give all the “right” answers on what we should and shouldn’t do…and even live in disillusionment and justification that “I’m okay”…but not really be…how is that possible…?
Because when you live in the dark, for even a moment, you become immune and disconnected from the true reality of the Light. The Light and Love hasn’t disconnected from you, but like a unskilled surgeon you have severed your awareness from Him and all things that He cares about, which includes YOU.
You and I become all the people with the right answers and the wrong heart.But we have lived in and preached a Christianity about information and right answers for so long, and defined Christianity as a “confession of faith”…instead of a living and breathing organism living in divine communion with Divine Compassion…that the metaphor of Light and Dark because just another verse instead of exquisite symbol of true reality.